Why Véronique? Why Weronika?

You have probably wondered about the name of the blog.  If Kieślowski’s The Double Life of Véronique crossed your mind, then you are not far off. If you’re a fan of the film, then we are probably soulmates (I know it’s not everyone’s favourite)! For me it’s one of the most inspiring works of art and one that has felt so close to my heart most of my adult life. It’s a film you feel and experience, not necessarily completely understand. Just like life, I guess.

So why does it feel so relevant to me? There are many layers to it and here are some:

• The mystery

The film is a beautiful metaphor for the mystery of life. The mystery of God, the mystery of soul, of music, human experience, emotions, art, love and loss.

It reminds us that logic means very little in this world but we still need to take the time to contemplate the meaning of it. Trying to explain events and people’s choices is futile. It’s more often better to just observe what happens and try to understand how the events shape us and how we change in the process. Also, do you sometimes wonder where your life would have taken you if you had made different choices? I like to visualise alternative scripts and various paths I could have taken. Of course, no one knows ‘what if..?’; that’s the beauty of the mystery.

• The double

I often feel as if there’s more of myself than just one entity. If you’ve ever found yourself having a conversation in your head or speaking to yourself, you will understand what I mean. I believe this duality is part of human nature. On one level, there is duality within us. Many find the divisions to introverts and extroverts both false and artificial, as many of us will see ourselves as being both at different times. On another level, there’s this idea that we are only one part of a whole, one soul of a twin flame. When we’re single often the feeling of loss and longing for that someone that must exist and must be the answer to all our needs is extremely strong. And when we meet someone we fall in love with, we usually do so because that person mirrors us in some ways. The myth of the two halves of an apple comes from that feeling, I assume.

Before I met my partner that certainty of someone ‘out there’ was overwhelming. When we met, we both felt that we found each other and that it was a miracle, an epiphany. We’d had a completely different upbringing, lived in different countries, different decades (significant age gap) and yet, we kept looking at each other and thinking: ‘you are identical to me, and yet, you are not me!’ One of us was the young soul, the other was the old soul and we managed to meet somehow. We both felt like we were no longer alone. The feeling of loss turned into worry that we may yet lose one another.  Tragically, this is almost inevitable, unless we die together. 

He is my Véronique to my Weronika. And, yes, you’ve guessed it – we both bonded over Kieślowski and Preisner 😉

• The immigrant

I am an immigrant. At this stage the country of my origin and the country of my residence are both my homes. Yet, the both feel strange and alien at times. I speak two languages – I operate in two worlds. It’s almost as if I am two different people in both of these countries and languages. If you speak more than one language, you have probably experienced the eerie feeling of becoming someone else when speaking the one that is not your mother tongue. It can be frustrating or it can give you an opportunity to free yourself from your old self.

• The doppelgänger

Have you ever been told by a stranger that they think you had met before? I get that quite often. If I am sure that we never had met, then my usual response is that I just have that kind of face. When people persist trying to remember when they know me from, the usually come up with names of some actresses. I guess all the ones that they have come up with have similar features in common – brown hair, blue eyes, classic facial lines, a warm smile. I think it’s understandable that there are A LOT of similar people in this world. And even though this is my logical explanation for these coincidences, I can’t shake off the feeling of having a doppelganger somewhere out there. I have this romantic idea that maybe one day I’ll get to meet her, at least once, just like Weronika met Véronique.

So here it is. No great mystery. Just inspiration. There is only one person writing here. But the me that comes here will have different faces, dozens of shades, various emotions, and oh so many thoughts. Don’t we all?

Photo by Mitchell Gaiser on Unsplash